he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize