im drinking this country out of the recession.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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