i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
