Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
