I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
