I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
