Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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