Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
