Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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