No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
