I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
