I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
