her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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