I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
