I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
this will be a night to untag.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
