bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
