I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
