I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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