Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dignity is for republicans.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
