How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you never un-have a 4some
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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