she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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