I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
