Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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