if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
