You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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