I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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