I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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