At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize