what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
