They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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