your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
