Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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