goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
