this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wear drunk well.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
