I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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