THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
