Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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