Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
