that's an acceptable place to lick
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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