i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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