Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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