At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
