I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize