I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
