When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
