So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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