You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
