How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
