Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
