yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
