Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

She's JV to your varsity

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(281): View more from Texas

I think about you every night.

(1-281): View more from Texas

I'm sorry.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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(661): View more from California

Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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(845): View more from New York

When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"

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(309): View more from Illinois

I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.

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