I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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