I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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