I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
