I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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