I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
