Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
