We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
