Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
